26.11.06
Had dinner in "su" restaurant with ms ebony and some of my classmates.
The dinner was fabulous and im goin back there another day!!
It was pretty reasonable as we had about 10 of us.. and it cost only bot S$250.
Ooo.. i miss the bulgogi..=)..
We had alot of chattings done and some of them lyk gracia got so drunk.Lol
And here, is the lucky charm gave to me by ken.=)
Im so afraid to miss the first session of second level bcos miss ebony says that she will
be doing a recap.
Ytd while chatting with yong gon, i realise that my korean is very very lousy=(..
He had to correct me so many times.Haha..
got myslf into so many troubles recently.
I realise wat ken said was right.
I sldnt blame it on luck.
In fact,
it was the wrong decision made at the wrong time.
Hence, everything gone heywire..
But well, nevertheless, i learnt my lesson.N im so gona watch my actions.
Ill think at least 3 times b4 deciding whether to blurt anything out or not.
Am i suppose to forgive n forget every single person n thing?
No way.I can forgive.But i wun forget.
say im heartless, selfish n horrible if u wan.
I dun mind.bcos i noe ,if anyone were in my shoes, they wun have handled this so calmly.
Forgiving them was already honestly the last thing in my mind.
Yet,i did it .bcos i understand if i dun, the ppl aron would b in a difficult position
People lyk peixia, if i didnt agree to let things go with xlong.
People lyk sam n jun wei, if i didnt agree to stop persuing the matter with chester.
I guess, the only peace i can ever find is to forgive and stop everything.
I realise, the more i try to do things my way,the worse things get.
Its time i sld put myslf in other ppl's shoes n think for them.
Thanks to angel for the msg she send, onli did i realise i was far worse den terrible.
I promise to change n i will.
5:39 PM
Spa and body massage
Get new eyeliner and mascara
Pay korean class school fees.Look for dancing school.
Start Saving money from 1/12/06
At least S$3000 on march (highly impossible)
Grow 4cm taller in 2 months.
Rebond my hair.
Look for a new job.
Fulfill stewardess dream before 20 years old..=)
get new top
Go on DIET..
Get new story books.
Pay mummy all the money i owe her (*yucks)
KEEP MY LIFE AS BUSY AS POSSIBLE!
5:23 PM
24.11.06
미안내요.
8:47 PM
21.11.06
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
I haven hate u for all those things you'v done n here u are hating me?..!!1 Dun be a idiot lame childish ass hu goes " i hate u, i dun fren u, ".. Eh, no one needs ur pity la.. no one cares hu u hate or hu u love.. I may have fall bcos of u many many times, bt i nv once fail to stand again.Hu the fuck u think u are that will make me fall tremendously...
Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!1.
CHESTER GOH! Go to hell la..!!!
I cant stand ppl hu think that they are real great and gers will go crazy over them.. come on la, u n i are the same.I may have done things that make u have "hatred" in me, eh.. i haven hate u, u come n hate me ar?.. Wen u r wid me, u lyk my sister i nv say anything.. Lock in the room n god Knows wat u guys are doin inside.Mit me bcos u wana see my sister and still can tell me how much i mean to u n all the shit.I mus have been blind to fall for u..U SUX TO THE MAX CHESTER GOH!...I hate u as much as u hate me.. Get out of my life !
5:41 PM
19.11.06
Its been a long time since my peaceful life has been disrupted.
I realli duno wat the fuck u doin.. I duno wen to trust u ,and wen not to.
U put me into trouble n now all my frens into trouble too..
Aren't u guilty?.. so much for sayin we fogive u ..
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BETRAYING OUR TRUST !
==================================================
He told me to take care of myself ytd..although it isnt sumtin serious,
i held on to my phone,with that msg through out my sleep.
I duno y things are turning out this way.
I missed u so much.Y isit, u r always given a chance, n im not..
Y cant u give me a chance again?.. y cant u believe me..
Am i not any better den the gers u noe..those vaness n minmin or watever..
I noe, the reason y u have been avoiding me, though u say u can treat me a fren..u cant.
Bcos u are afraid that i will make life difficult for u once more.Becos u are afraid that i will cry n make noise,
asking u to give me a chance again.
Facing you, i no longer have any single bit of pride and dignity.
But i wana tell u so much baby, dun avoid me.Dun dash even the smallest hope of me being ur fren,
n knowing everything about u now.
The day i send u the last msg to save our relationship
"At least i tried my best,i realli tried my very very best to save our relationship."..
U told me " I noe u tried ur best"..
Sarah's heart stopped beating, im dead in the eyes of love.
I cant let u go, neither can i let anyone else in.
I cant make u come back, neither can i go to someone else.
Im jus stuck here..
No matter how much i tell myslf,
As long as i get into a new relationship, im fine..
But seems that .. i cant,n i noe no matter who,
will nv let be able to make me face this pain again..
Noone except u baby..
pls.. im sorri..im sorri for wat iv done.
I'v forgiven u , Y cant u do the same to me..
Baby, pls..come back..
5:45 PM
15.11.06
Shit It!..Nth seems to go my way these few days.
Angel is drifting away from us.I know.
Sometimes,i get so fed up that i cant b bothered bot anything at all.
Today she called and told me that she will b cuming in the morning.
I was puzzled as she's working today.Y suddenly come?
I tot mayb come pei us or sumtin..
But im wrong.
She's jus here to take her things.
Eh,come on la.. Wake up ur fucking idea.
Say until so nice..
" Wednesday i come ur hse k?.. "
"Come for wat?"
"Pei u all la.Jus come only lor"
I cant seem to trust what she say now..Its like..
Fuck it! The whole world seems to be lying.
If u want your life, Go ahead..
NO ONE NEEDS YOUR UNWILLINGNESS HERE.
5:45 PM
12.11.06
Woo,I passed my korean level 1 exams..
Well done sarah! =)
Anyway, friday we will be going to far east plaza for dinner,
hmm..one of the korean restaurant.
Ms Ebony Suggested Far East in the end..hahax..
Hm.. goona take lotsa pics n send to yi-mo.
Saturday will be goin to escape with pipi,sam,xlong,mich?
Finally!! I'v been saying
" wen are we goin escape/Wen are we goin escape?.."
No one wans to entertain me ..
hahas..
Well, iv gota get use to it right?!..afterall,gers wid guys are diff frm gers without guys!
Hmm.. will be having chalet on xmas eve,but i cant seem to book any at this point of time.
All FULLY book!@
Another alternative is to rent mummy's hse?!
I duno if the rest agree or not.. anyway, dun care la
Next year will be goin malaysia wid the gers, den to genting.
And back to singapore before flying over to korea.
Ill be seeing Kyunghyun and ji-suk for the first time.
Am rather excited.. =)
Yi-mo says that she will try to get a vacation job for me there.Woo..
Im afraid that i will not wana come back to singapore anymore.
Well .. im 98.969% sure i wun wana come back.=P
Afterall, i truly love the ambience,the people, the fun,the whether,the everything in korea.
Some ppl find themslf comfortable in their own country, or mayb in some other countries after a period of time.
And for me, its Korea.
Nevertheless, i still have to make my way back.
Bcos there are other things in singapore i have not done..
Hmm.. lyk completing my course and tendering my resignation .
So,even if i wana stay there for good, i still have to complete my course right?..
Otherwisw, one say chicken,one say duck.. hahax=)
Why aren't i in a relationship? That is a good question.
All the talkings from pipi and michii is enuff..
I can only say..
Im not ready yet.
It takes time isnt it baby?.. I mean, i'v got to be mentally prepared to start trusting a person again,
To start indulging in sharing my world btw 2 people.
I guess,iv learnt my lesson.So, give me some time.
And i swear,it realli doesnt have anything to do wid "him".. mayb partly la..
Becos knowing the truth is alw the biggest hurdle to overcome.
Dun worry my dearest,I noe wat im doing.N im fine being single.=)..
I noe u all love me la=P
I love u guys too..=)
9:43 PM
5.11.06
I duno wat happen to me this month.Evereything seems so unlucky in everything i do.Got caught for this
and that .Now,quarrel wid the ppl i love most.
Wats the matter!!
Life hasne been great now.
Quarreled wid pipi last few days ago overs ome dumb thing and well, i realli dun wish to pen it down
This realli isnt sumin i wana rmb.At least,not anything that will affect our frenship and my mood.
After pipi, its angel.
Its so pain.I sldnt have said all those things.I must have hurt her so much.
Im nt feeling any better thou.
I guess,its jealousy.I cant accept the fact that she is drifting away frm is.
Even thou it doesnt have any thing to do wid that it,i jus cant accept her attitude nad the way she treats us.
So very diff frm she treating that "it".It makes me feel that she's telling us
"Hey,i dun ned u guys anymore.Jus get lost frm my life."
we have been frens for 11 years.You are more den a fren to me.
The feeling of losing you,of those hurtful words i said,
Its worst then losing a boyfren.
But, you sld know my temper well enuff ger, i alw say things without thinking and this the main reason y i alw hurt ppl unknowingly.
I duno wat to say,wat to explain.
Its been a rough time for me this few days.Everything i do,i think of wat i said to you.
My intentions were clear cut.Jus that i didnt use the correct way to express myslf.
Wen i saw the note u wrote in ur calender,my tears alw flowed.
I cant belief u are saying all this because of a "It".
I duno if this incident will ever affect us in future,I duno if this marks the end of our frenship.I duno if u r really happier.
u noe the feeling.
Wen i was so close to sze kuan last time,
u have a feeling of me being snatched away.
U told me "
i dunwan any one else to intrude into our life.
Same for me.
i dunwan anyone else to intrude into our life.
And take all ur time and attention away from us.
Im nt the onli one thinking this way.
all of us think the same way.
Forget it.. i dun even wana think of anythong now.I feel so tired.
So unhappy with the path im walking now.
12:10 AM
